So my first plan was to show up early in order to help out AAM. I really wanted to do that so that I could sort of brace myself for the eventual flood of people that were to come. I have never been good at lots of people. all the talking… so much talking and I just can’t focus on it all.

The plan failed horribly cause I underestimated the power of the I-25. But that is not here nor there. I sit here at the party in a back room hiding away from my fears. The fear of talking and opening up. but I cant open up, I have nothing good to open up about.

Except maybe this blog. The process of starting it. The fun of coding. I have lots of things I could say about this whole proccess. Lots of things to say about the fun it has been. I just need to try I suppose. Or I can sit back here and type away on my computer being the anti-social person that I have made myself into.

I need to be more present in my life. Or maybe I am being just as present as I need to be…for me. I just need to stop trying to emulate people. Pretending to be someone I am not has messed me up. I dont know who I actually am anymore. But that is the reason for this blog. To figure out who I am.

So who am I? I am Wyatt. A failed perfectionist, who takes himself way too seriously. I would love to sit here and say that this wasn’t a product of my own creation. but I feel like it is. I have spent years building wall upon wall around me to keep people out. And for why to save myself?

But its killing me. Without people close to me there doesnt feel like there is a lot of reason to keep going. But I must always remember that there are people close to me always. Even if they aren’t physically here, they are always with me. I can see them all with me wherever I am.

It is silly to think that I need to be out there and socializing in order to be whole. I am here for my friends. and I know they know that. That’s good enough for me for now. I am going to work on fixing the title color for a bit now. I will make an apearance a bit later when everyone is a bit more tipsy.

I fixed the title, now its party time!